Monday, July 9, 2007

Southern Michigan Travel Journal -- Flying in Limbo

So, I’m off to Southern Michigan on business for a couple of days, and to pass the time and to deal with the boredom, I present the “Southern Michigan Travel Journal.” I’m sure this will be thrilling…

38,000 feet over New England, 3:17 pm
I have completed the crossword puzzle in the in-flight magazine in record time. To be fair, this was far and away the easiest crossword I’ve done on a plane, and that’s saying something. Apparently Northwest either caters to dumb people, or they want everyone to feel good about themselves. I feel accomplished, so I guess they’ve succeeded.

I’m sitting in the third row behind the first class section, and frankly, this has to be the cheesiest “first class” section I’ve seen on a plane. Instead of a curtain, or a door separating the important people from the rest of us, there is literally just a two-inch swath of fabric draped across the cabin. It appears more like the set-up for an in-flight limbo contest than a barrier to movement. Bet those folks wish they hadn’t paid extra for that. Although, we peasants are blocked from using the lavatory at the front of the plane, and can only watch the hoi poi relieve themselves. It certainly won’t do anything to keep the noise of the two children across the aisle from me from disturbing the folks in front.

I’d be apt to be annoyed by the kids (who appear to be about 2 and 4), but we’re taking Jackson on his first flight in November, and I’ll hold back any judgment until we see how he fares. Right now mom is moving the older boy from the aisle to the window in an effort to keep him from annoying the people around. Which means the child that just abdicated the window sat is angry about it.

But since he’s younger he gets over it by standing in his seat and trying to get the man behind him to laugh at him. The man (who is wearing an orange shirt and reading glasses attached with a gold chain, with faux-stylish sunglasses perched on his head – talk about a mid-life crisis) is playing solitaire, and does not appear to be interested in small children.

And someone needs his diaper changed! I’d suggest the mother check into her kids, but she’s probably got enough to do just to try to keep them in control. I suppose it could be mid-life crisis man, although soiling oneself seems to be more of a late- or early-life crisis.

(Posted from Southern Michigan, because if I tried to post from the air, the Feds would track me down.)

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