Wednesday, September 5, 2007

"Problems like this" and other thoughts on tonight's GOP debate -- Round 1

You're looking live at the University of New Hampshire in Durham where the Republican candidates for president are competing in the first official debate of the Republican campaign. That's right, all of the other debates were just the preseason.

Brit Hume is buttering up the good people of New Hampshire by stroking the hockey team. And the chairman of the NH GOP is name Fergus Cullen. Fergus Cullen. Could there be a more obvious name for a New England Republican? Was Snooty McStuffedshirt already taken? (Oh wait, someone with an Irish name could never rise to the top of the Republican party. Never mind.)
  • Who is smarter, you guys or Fred Thompson? Obviously not Mike Huckabee, if he actually did turn down Leno (and I'm sure he didn't, just pandering).

  • Is that Tom Tancredo cackling? I hope they leave his mic on to cackle like that all night.

  • John McCain calls Thompson old. And Tancredo cackles again. He tells a Mo Udall joke, and then has to explain why it's funny, since the crowd didn't laugh.

  • Mitt appears to be wearing a peach-colored tie. A bold statement, indeed. Probably his boldest statement of the night.

  • Wallace pounding away at Romney. Hey wait, did Romney just say that we don't expect our people to go to their contractors and ask them to check ID cards? Isn't that exactly what we are asking companies to do? If you are strongly against immigration, why wouldn't you ask the people you hire if they employ undocumented workers?

  • And now it's Giuliani's turn. Now that is a pretty good answer. He wasn't going to leave crimes unreported because the victims were undocumented, and he wasn't going to let 50,000 children go without services for the same reason. That's probably the most realistic answer I've heard from these guys on this subject yet. Of course, that means it won't be popular with most Republicans.

  • John McCain laughing at his own jokes. Another mention of Romney's lawn. Romney tries to play it off, but he sounds peeved.

  • Huckabee, are people who oppose immigration reform racist? Some of them are, yes. UPS and FedEx track packages by placing bar codes on them and scanning them at every stop along their way. Is he suggesting we should all have a bar code that can be scanned as we go from place to place? Kind of scary.

  • Question to Duncan Hunter about the border fence. Bet you dollars to donuts that he mentions that he built the first fence...Yes! Four words into his answer, he built the fence. With his own two hands!

  • Carl Cameron interviewing a cop from Haverhill. He's talking longer than any of the candidates, something about immigrants. Giuliani wants to use heat-seeking missiles or water cannons or some kind of newfangled technology to keep them out.

  • Right, Romney says we should target companies that sign up illegal immigrants. But 15 minutes ago, he suggested that people like him shouldn't be expected to not hire illegal immigrants. I don't think he has any idea what comes out of his mouth from one answer to the other.

  • Oh good, a Larry Craig question. Senator Brownback, what's the deal with him? Well first, Larry should stay resigned. Second, we should be the party of family values. Not sure what that has to do with the question.

  • Duncan Hunter, Should Larry go immediately? When Republicans have "problems like this" they leave, when Dems do, they get leadership positions. Hmmmm, he must be calling being gay a problem, because he certainly can't be suggesting that Republicans who get arrested just leave.

  • Romney twisting himself into a pretzel trying to explain his abortion position. He's just making it up now.

  • If there was anyone who could get me to oppose abortion, it would be Mike Huckabee. He can't, however.

  • Was there really a 59% higher chance of being a victim of a crime in Boston than New York while Rudy was mayor? Sounds fishy to me.

  • Ron Paul, do you really think the passengers aboard the planes on 9/11 should have carried guns? Listen, it doesn't matter who is in charge of airline security, I can't think of a worse place to allow guns than in an airplane. One shot through the fuselage and the whole thing would go down. What a stupid idea.

  • Hey Ms Republican, should gay marriage be abolished via a Constitutional Amendment? No. This is the live free or die state. We should be able to marry who you want to. What do you think about that, Sam Brownback? I think that if we let gays marry, we'll end up with more children born out of wedlock. That might be the stupidest answer I've ever heard. Michelle just asked our dog if Brownback is crazy.
End of the first half. More to come.

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