The state of the union is...sleepy

You're looking live, Washington, DC, for tonight's State of the Union address. We're watching Katie Couric and the CBS Evening News only because CBS has the best HD for football, and I'm assuming the pictures will be the best. Nothing says great TV like Ted Kennedy and Mean Jean Schmidt in HD.

Condi looks like she's going to a funeral. Hank Paulson to a Chamber of Commerce dinner.

Who is the old woman just to the right of the aisle wearing that awful red white and blue feather boa? Wow. I'll bet she didn't wear that when she was running for her seat.

Dennis Kucinich has a prime spot right on the aisle. That's as close to the presidency as he'll ever get. Maybe he'll kiss the President Joe Lieberman-style.

Some Republican rep. just told the president he'd say a prayer for him. I'll bet he's not the only one.

Bush wants to get this over with. He just told Pelosi to get the show on the road.

And Nancy is going to cry. Nice moment.

Enunciate. Thomassss Dellasssandro.

Decisions are hard. I'm the decider, working hard. He's a living SNL skit. he can't help it.

And there he goes with the "Democrat" majority. It's the Democratic majority, sir. Stop speaking the language of Rush Limbaugh and start talking to all Americans.

Nice to see the president wants to balance the budget now. Where has that been the last six years? He will eliminate the deficit in five years. I believe, the budget had been balanced before president Bush came on board.

I agree with him on cutting earmarks. Huh. I wonder if John McCain knows how shifty he looks when he winks at a colleague.

Nancy isn't wearing a flag pin. Wonder if she'll get criticized for that tomorrow...

Michelle asked me to rewind...says it looks like the VP is leaning over to fart. And...it certainly does! Look at that. Oh, I guess he's just fishing for a mint.

The health insurance proposal is a scam, by the way, for anyone who gets their insurance through their employer. It will encourage employers to offer less comprehensive services or charge more for the ones they do offer. And Health Savings Accounts are also a scam. Just a way to get the government to launder money to hospitals at retail prices instead of negotiated rates.

Who was the corpse standing next to John Kerry?

Offering a path to citizenship for immigrants here in the country: good idea. Temporary worker program: not so good. "Without animosity, and without amnesty." Good line. Give that speech writer a star.

Something ironic about the president disrupting the word "disruption."

CBS would do well to replace their "CBS NEWS SPECIAL REPORT" banner at the bottom of the page with the names of the people they show on close up. It would be nice to know who people are.

Michelle: The way he claps, Charles Grassley looks like a jack in the box.

Funny to watch the GOP decide when to applause. They begrudgingly stand up whenever the Dems stand up, since the need to look like the support the president, even when he's talking about more progressive stances like global warming.

Oh, here we go with 9/11 again. A couple of minutes of this, to soften us up for the Iraq stuff. I don't think it works much anymore.

BREAKING NEWS: Apparently a pack of coyotes have killed something in the woods behind our house, because we can hear them yelping and howling outside our back door. Sounds like four of five of them. Michelle has been telling me for months that she has heard them out there, and I've told her she's crazy. Guess not.

Still going on about 9/11 and the "war on terror."

Hillary looks like she's falling asleep. She should just rest her head on Bob Casey's shoulder. I'm sure no one would notice. Condi too. Are there Carbon Monoxide monitors in the chamber? I'm worried about these guys. McCain is also falling asleep.

Senator Bob Menendez came this close to picking his nose.

"Let us find our resolve..." I resolve to oppose the war. There it is. Found it.

He talks about "the enemy" as though there is a simple enemy, but he just talked about Iran, al-Qaeda, the Shiites, and the Sunnis, each of them who have their own agenda. Which one is "the enemy"? I'd say that three out of four weren't at war with us four years ago.

Including Joe Lieberman doesn't make your commission "bipartisan," unless your parties are Republican and Connecticut for Lieberman.

Members of the quartet are joining the EU, etc. in diplomacy? Did we send the Statler Brothers over to broker a deal?

There is absolutely no life in the house chamber at all tonight. Everyone seems depressed.

Dikembe Mutumbo? Good Lord. 300 million Americans and the president invited Dikembe Mutumbo. And now he's introducing the creator of the Baby Einstein videos. Give it up for super rich people.

CBS caption: Wesley Autrey, New York City Subway Hero. Biggest applause of the night.

It almost seems like the president is introducing these guests as a way of getting viewers to forget that he just escalated the war 15 minutes ago.

"...the state of the union is strong..." Meh.

Michelle wants to know why John Kerry just bolted from the chamber. I'd guess either he's going to be on TV, he's going to check in on his focus groups, or he needs to pee. At least that's why I'm about to bolt the room.

Tags: George Bush Nancy Pelosi State of the Union Democrat Republican