Why can't we get players like that?

With apologies to Bob Lobel, we bring you the story of former Sox pitcher Scott Sauerbeck:

SHEFFIELD VILLAGE, Ohio -- Indians relief pitcher Scott Sauerbeck was arrested early Tuesday in Sheffield Village, police said.

Officers said they followed a 1966 Lincoln Continental that was being driven erratically northbound on Abby Road at about 3:45 a.m., when they noticed the passenger and driver pull into a driveway and flee on foot behind a home.

Police found Sauerbeck, 34, and 28-year-old Lily Miller, of Lakewood, hiding in the bushes. They were both arrested.

He was charged with obstructing official business and wrongful entrustment, because he gave his keys to someone who had too much to drink.

Police said Miller's blood-alcohol content was .253, three times the legal limit. She was charged with obstructing official business and driving under the influence.

Sauerbeck was awful when he was here in 2003, but he wasn't that much worse than a couple of the guys we have now. If we're going to be stuck with the likes of Rudy Seanez and Julian Tavarez, they might as well provide a little entertainment.

Tags: Boston Red Sox Cleveland Indians Sauerbeck