Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Live Blogging Super Tuesday, Part 3

On we go. Part one is here. Part two is here. My comments are in red, Scott's are in blue.

9:28 -- What's the body language on Fox News telling you? I can't bring myself to check. In fact, I've had the numbers 4 and 1 removed from my remote to make sure I don't accidentally switch to Fox.

9:33 -- Are you actually asking me to intentionally switch to Fox News? Do you think I'm nuts?

9:35 -- Lancaster went for Hillary Clinton. Only 3 votes for Biden. Leominster for Hillary 65-33. What is going on?

9:38 -- Matthews and the panel of uselessness are hammering McCain because all of his major wins are in states that are traditionally Democratic and therefore states he is likely to lose in a general election. The implication being that if McCain gets the delegates tonight to make him the frontrunner or de facto nominee, the Republicans are very likely to lose the general election.

9:40 -- Does he think McCain would somehow not win Republican states? That's dumb.

9:41 -- I don't think he's thinking about that, he's too busy being gleeful at his own insights. You know how he gets -- he starts grinning and almost literally drooling, and has to sort of slurp at the corners of his mouth to keep from dripping on the desk because he's so jacked up.

9:42 -- Is there any chance that Romney runs as a third party candidate from the right? To listen to talk radio, you'd believe that McCain couldn't get any votes from "real" conservatives.

9:43 -- That would be great, except for the part where it means Romney isn't staked to a table like Dracula. I will say this for Romney -- his press secretary looks like he just walked out of an issue of Superman. MSNBC immediately segued from Captain Steeljaw right to Howard Dean, who seemed to have just come from the eye doctor and is blinking and flexing his eyeballs like a meth freak. Seriously, why do almost all prominent Democrats look like they just got infected with a zombie virus?

9:46 -- What do you think made them Democrats?

9:48 -- I am on the edge of my seat waiting to see who is going to win Utah when the polls close in 11 minutes. I just can't figure it out.

9:49 -- CNN just called Massachusetts for Hillary. In other news, Generalissimo Franco is dead.

9:52 -- McCain takes Oklahoma, home of the world's largest cattle. Readers, if you've never seen beefalo, you're missing out on a real life experience.

9:54 -- If it keeps going like this, Obama is going to have to work hard to spin the results. Even though he may essentially split the delegates, the headlines will be about a Clinton win.

10:00 -- MSNBC calls Utah for Romney. Shoot. I just put $100 on Ron Paul pulling out the win in Utah. Meanwhile, during the commercial break, they also busted out a McGruff the Crime Dog ad. Now there's a real Reagan Conservative.

10:02 -- Barack Obama is the winner in North Dakota. The Vinatieris no doubt went en masse to the caucuses to support Obama due to his resemblance to Tony Dungy. And now Obama wins Utah as well. North Dakota and Utah -- not the first places I would have guessed to be Obama strongholds.

10:04 -- FRAUD ALERT! The Vinatieris are from South Dakota!

10:06 -- Sorry. I got that information from Mike Barnacle.

10:07 -- Is Mike Huckabee wearing a yarmulke?

10:07 -- Looks like Huckabee is about to speak. I found a copy of his speech: "Ha ha, Mitt! Nanny-nanny-boo-boo!"

10:08 -- Two bible stories in the first 30 seconds from Huck. He is Our Little Friend.

10:10 -- I have a Bible story for Huckabee -- the parable of the evangelical nutjob shutting his squirrelly yap. I think it's in Leviticus.

10:13 -- Could this be a more cringe-inducing speech? Great, you know your SEC mascots. That'll get you on the Coors Silver Bullet Ultimate Highlight Hot Seat, but it won't get you elected.

10:14 -- He's referred to himself as "this old Razorback" so many times I think he might be about to announce Nolan Richardson as his running mate. Based on his speech, I'm guessing he is running for President of the Confederate States of America? Either that or the SEC.

10:15 -- Nah, he looks like he showered. He'd never pass as a Confederate.

10:16 -- Needs to work on his bloating.

10:17 -- Huckabee was so heavy, he probably never could see "the governor," if you know what I mean.

10:20 -- Alright, more shenanigans with the Mass. results. Acton has reported 612 votes for Mike Gravel and 424 votes for Biden.

10:20 -- Brokaw just called Huckabee's speech style "great". He must be even more hopped up on dramamine than he looks. Huckabee's speech was awful. MSNBC, between totally whiffing on commentary, has also called Kansas for Obama. Hopefully that's more accurate than their opinions.

10:21 -- CNN calls Connecticut for Obama. Pretty big win.

10:21 -- Brokaw just referenced 1968 again. That makes the 1,000,000th reference to 1968 he's made during this campaign. As a result, every viewer of MSNBC has just been awarded a shopping spree at DeMoulas.

10:22 -- Did you know Brokaw did a documentary called "1968" just a couple of months ago? It was pretty good.

10:23 -- He should try doing a documentary called 2008 so he'd have some idea what the heck was going on right now.

10:26 -- You know, I've gone all night without hearing a comparison to the Super Bowl, and I damn well didn't expect to hear it from Huckabee.

10:27 -- Huckabee on Romney: "Yesterday he was against whining, and today he's for it." POW!

10:29 -- MSNBC has finally called CT for Obama as well. Obama is starting to look like he's doing a little better, as he has now won more states than Clinton so far. I think even if he loses the remaining contests he can point to his wins and equality in delegates to get some good spin.

10:30 -- CNN calls Alabama for Huckabee.

10:31 -- Looks like Bill Weld put his drink down long enough to show up at Romney headquarters.

10:31 -- Bill Weld sighting. Call Mythbusters. Romney already sounds a little hoarse -- must be from screaming invective at his television as Huckabee won state after state.

10:33 -- If Romney is hoarse, it's because he saw Clinton lose her voice yesterday and figured she was on to something.

10:33 -- The foam Mitt Romney baseball mitts his supporters are waving have to be one of the all time lamest campaign props ever. And he just pointed out that the only states he has won are his three "home" states of Utah, Michigan and Massachusetts. Hey, Mitt, might not want to point that one out, fella. He followed it up by saying that they expected to also get other delgates from somewhere. He knows this because he read it on a tablet he unearthed the other day.

10:34 -- Massachusetts, Michigan and Utah voted for you, Mitt, in hope that you will go to Washington and never come home.

10:38 -- Mitt just said that it's important for candidates to have held a job in the private sector. Ha. Obviously he doesn't know about Clinton's extensive background in real estate.

10:39 -- Who was the moron who thought that having the crowd at Romney's rally shout "They Haven't!" in unison with the candidate was a good idea?

10:41 -- MSNBC calls Georgia for Huckabee.

On to part four.

blog comments powered by Disqus

Post a Comment


No Drumlins Copyright © 2009 Premium Blogger Dashboard Designed by SAER