Flooding getting worser and worser

While watching out my picture window to the East to see if any part of Clinton remains above water, I got this alert from the National Weather Service:

FLOODING WILL BE AT LEAST AS WORSE AS IT WAS 2 WEEKS AGO. THIS IS GOING TO BE A PROLONGED PERIOD OF URBAN AND SMALL STREAM FLOODING FROM THIS AFTERNOON...LASTING WELL INTO TUESDAY MORNING.

Maybe we ought to start requiring our meteorologists to get an English minor English minors minors in English along with their degree degrees.

Today's Forecast: Mischief, Shenanigans

Got this in my box this morning from the National Weather Service in Taunton:

MOSTLY SUNNY CONDITIONS AND LOW HUMIDITY VALUES FRIDAY WILL BRING AN ELEVATED FIRE WEATHER RISK TO MUCH OF THE REGION....

PLEASE KEEP IN MIND WE ARE NOT FORECASTING FIRES...BUT RATHER FORECASTING CONDITIONS THAT ARE CONDUCIVE TO FIRE GROWTH AND BEHAVIOR.

For instance, a beautiful sunny 65-degree day is, in fact, the perfect weather for boys to play with matches. Look for subsequent warnings of an elevated "Riding on Handlebars" risk and "Foul Ball through the window" risk.

Tags: Massachusetts National Weather Service fire