Brookline is full of turkeys

And I don't mean the birds, but the unhinged Brookliners who fear the birds as if they are crazed, rabid killers:

BROOKLINE - On a recent afternoon, Kettly Jean-Felix parked her car on Beacon Street in Brookline, fed the parking meter, wheeled around to go to the optician and came face to face with a wild turkey.

The turkey eyed Jean-Felix. Jean-Felix eyed the turkey. It gobbled. She gasped. Then the turkey proceeded to follow the Dorchester woman over the Green Line train tracks, across the street, through traffic, and all the way down the block, pecking at her backside as she went.

"This is so scary," Jean-Felix said, finally taking refuge inside Cambridge Eye Doctors in Brookline's bustling Washington Square. "I cannot explain it."

I can explain it. You are afraid of a bird. Apparently this is standard operating procedure in Brookline, where residents and visitors are easily frightened. Check out a couple of these police reports:

July 20, 9:31 a.m., Rawson Road: Caller reports 18 turkeys in her backyard. "Something must be done," caller says. "It's just not right." Requests animal control officer.

"It's just not right." What would be more right? I'll tell you what would be more right: If there were a pack of coyotes to chase them off your yard. Of course, that would probably be enough to force a Rawson Road resident to move to the South End or someplace where an animal could not exist naturally.

September 4, 11:01 a.m., Chatham Circle and Chatham Street: Caller - who had gone under some beech trees to take a picture of turkeys - reports four turkeys chasing him. Requests animal control officer.

So you approach a group of turkeys with a foreign object, and then call the cops when the birds take offense? Do these people think this is a zoo or Disney world? If you're going to approach a wild animal, it might become defensive.

We have turkeys who live in the woods behind our new home. Almost every morning from March through Memorial Day, they would trek across the yard, looking for something to eat. Sometimes they would stop under the bird feeder to pick up any seeds that had fallen. Most of the time, they'd just hang out in the side yard.

Having the turkeys around is really cool. We know how to live with them. We watch them out the window, we don't try to ask them for a photo or an autograph, and we don't call the cops to shoo them away. Perhaps the people of Brookline might follow our lead and enjoy what they have.


Tags: Massachusetts Brookline Turkeys