Saturday, March 27, 2010

Mayor Mazzarella's Mad Libs are "Ready for You!"

A quick update on the love shack that is Leominster city hall...the Telegram moved the ball ahead on the story this morning by reporting that the controversy may have begun when Mayor Dean Mazzarella's ex-girlfriend/secretary popped him in the kisser on the steps of city hall:
The mayor's defense of his actions followed months of rumors that his ex-girlfriend, Stacia L. Venturi — upon discovering his relationship with Lisa L. Vallee, the economic coordinator — slapped Mr. Mazzarella on City Hall steps on Jan. 19, the day of the special election to replace the late U.S. Sen. Edward M. Kennedy.

The mayor denied that Ms. Venturi struck him, but acknowledged she was upset upon finding out through a series of office e-mails about his relationship with Ms. Valle, who is married. Mr. Mazzarella noted using city e-mail was a mistake, and said they should have communicated via personal e-mail....

“I take full responsibility for everything I do,” he said. “I am not a womanizer.”
Look, tensions were high on the day of the special election, perhaps it is just as simple as one of them supported Senator Scott Brown and the other was a Martha Coakley voter.

But anytime the mayor has to come out and state "I am not a womanizer,"...well, that's just not good. I don't imagine people of Leominster will be thrilled with the description of Mozarella's current girlfriend as "who is married," either, if they weren't already aware.

Anyway, this morning's regularly scheduled post is "Ready for You!"

Scott had the brilliant idea of turning the emails that recently surfaced between Leominster Mayor Dean Mazzarella and his city hall paramours into a series of Mad Libs. I've created these from the text of the emails, as presented in the Sentinel and Enterprise, you just have to fill in the italicized terms. Feel free to complete them in the comments.

Subject: Poster Board

Paramour: Where is the (noun) for (name of friend #1)? He is (verb) at 1:00 today. Also we need a few (plural noun) for the (noun).

Mayor: It's at my (place). Stop in and see (name of  friend #2) and he will give you (plural noun)…If you wait until I get back, I can (verb) you at the (place).

Paramour: You've got enough to do already. I'll be sure to let you know if I need (noun) and what happens with (friend #1) and the (noun) too. You are too (adjective) to me.

Mayor: Tell you what. Let me know when you get to (place) and if I can, I will (verb) you there.

Paramour: OK. You got it, (term of endearment).

Subject: Co-workers

Paramour: That was by chance (adjective)! (Name of co-worker) came in here and asked me for a (noun) ... ugh, didn't want (pronoun) to feel (part of the body) so I kept it (adjective). He said he (past-tense verb) me; he's (adjective) but we knew that already. I'm thinking of you, can we (verb) later tonight after (name of event).

Mayor: He is (adjective). We can (verb) sooner if you want. You can call me on your way to see (group of people). 4 p.m. Before you go to (place) is fine. Or you could (verb) me when you get out. I stay in (place) until I have to go to (event) so just (verb) me on my (noun). Does any of that work?

Paramour: Nice. 4 p.m. is good. I will absolutely (verb) you to (verb) your (noun) at 4 p.m….

Mayor: (Verb) me at my (place) at 4:00. I have to run out and get some (noun) for my (place).
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