Financial news Mad Libs

Here are a few recent headlines from Dow Jones News Service regarding the stock market (via CNNMoney.com):

Sept. 22, 10:53 am: U.S. Stocks Fall As Traders Await Bail-out Details
Sept. 23, 10:26 am: U.S. Stock Indexes Up As Lawmakers Mull $700 Billion Bailout
Sept. 23, 3:30 pm: U.S. Stocks Rise After Lawmakers Pick Over Bank Bailout
Sept. 23, 4:31 pm: U.S. Stocks End Sharply Lower Amid Rescue Plan Indecision
Sept. 24, 11:08 am: U.S. Stock Indexes Waver As Lawmakers Hear More On Bailout
Sept. 24, 1:31 pm: U.S. Stock Indexes Tilt Higher As Lawmakers Hear More On Bailout

Being a financial writer has to be the most fun job in journalism. It's essentially getting paid for playing Mad Libs. It goes something like this:

U.S. Stocks (verb describing altitudinal change) as (news headline of the day).

Let's give it a try with breaking news from a couple of sites...

U.S. Stocks Soar as NJ farm flings pumpkins with giant catapult. (Worcester Telegram)
U.S. Stocks Plummet as Pistol-packing Pa. soccer mom loses gun permit. (Sentinel and Enterprise)
U.S. Stocks Rise as Pro-pot backers aim high. (Boston Herald)

I think my headlines are just as accurate.

(Idea completely stolen from Matt Yglesias).

Tags: Dow Jones Journalism Bailout